Writing Your Vows

The traditional wedding vows are short, sweet, and to the point for the most part. They get the job done, so to speak. But writing your own vows makes your ceremony much more personal and romantic, and it makes the vows more meaningful and special between the two of you. Your vows are a promise, one that can and should never be broken. They give the two of you a sort of guideline for your marriage relationship.

If you decide you both want to write your own vows, first check with your officiate to make sure they are okay with it (some can be very old fashioned and would rather you not). Then decide if you want to write them together so you’re prepared or separately to make them a surprise. (Making them a surprise can make the emotional factor go way up! So if you really want to try to not be a balling mess on your wedding day, opt to write them together).

Your vows can be deep, personal, touching, funny, lovey, or just plain cute. Let both your personalities direct you. As far as length goes, the longer the better. Whether you go with short or long, just make sure both of your vows are the same length. I was at a wedding once where the brides vows were much longer than the grooms (and by much I mean quite a lot!) and I felt so bad and embarrassed them.

We wanted our ceremony to be close and personal so we chose to write ours. Our officiate told us that guests really love it when couples write personal vows and that we should try to make them as long as possible. I wrote a rough draft of mine, and then together we added or subtracted things for his, adjusted mine, and polished them up as finals. I already had an idea of things I wanted in my vows, but I got online and Googled both personal and traditional wedding vows for some extra inspiration. This is something you should do 1-2 months prior to the wedding. Since getting Andy to do anything wedding related was so hard, I didn’t succeed at getting ours done until the week before.

Here are our wedding vows for you to use as inspiration. We were going for a deep, romantic sense with a little something funny 😉

I Lynda take you Andrew to be my husband. To have and to hold, to trust and confide in, and to love unconditionally more and more each day. I will cherish our union and nurture our marriage both physically and spiritually. I promise to be your faithful, loving wife; to pray for you always; to love you with actions, not just words; to hold your hand in church; to never go to bed angry; to not to steal the covers at night; to let you sleep in on days off; and to go fishing when you ask, no matter how much it’s raining. I promise that I will stand by your side and share your burdens through sickness and health, good times and bad. I will respect you as a person, grow with you, and never give up. I will walk with you through the rest of the journey that God has set before us, from this day forward, until death do us part.

I Andrew take you Lynda to be my wife. To have and to hold, to trust and confide in, and to love unconditionally more and more each day. I will cherish our union and nurture our marriage both physically and spiritually. I promise to be your faithful loving husband; to pray for you always; to love you with actions, not just words; to hold your hand in church; to warm you up when you are cold; to try to remember to put my dirty clothes in the hamper, and always replace the toilet paper roll. I promise to remember this day with love and roses. I promise that I will stand by your side and share your burdens through sickness and health, good times and bad. I will respect you as a person, grow with you, and never give up. I will walk with you through the rest of the journey that God has set before us, from this day forward, until death do us part.

One of Andy’s brothers and his wife gave us a very thoughtful and special wedding gift; something we will always cherish and have in our home as a reminder of the promises we’ve made to each other. They printed each of our vows on special paper and put them in a three-picture frame, leaving a space between his and mine for a photo of the two of us. It’s a nice way to display your vows and give you that constant reminder.

If you find you’re having trouble finding the right words, or if you’re having troubles in other areas of your wedding planning, remember this verse:

 

 

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” (Philippians 4:6 NLT)